Part A: Self-Differentiated Leadership & Crucial Conversations
Being a self-differentiated leader means knowing how to stay grounded and clear-headed when things get stressful, especially during big changes. In education, rolling out a new idea like School Sphere brings up a lot of emotions. People worry (I worry alot), about their jobs, time, tech problems, or just more stuff being added to their plates. I used to think I needed to smooth everything over right away, explain the plan in ten different ways, or jump in to fix whatever concern popped up. But honestly, that just made things more confusing. I’ve started realizing that leading doesn’t mean absorbing everyone else's stress. It means being steady, staying kind, and keeping the bigger picture in mind even when things get messy.
This connects with the whole idea behind Crucial Conversations. These aren’t just tools for communication, they help you stay present and honest when tensions run high. It’s about making sure the real issues get talked about without making the conversation worse. When teachers are overwhelmed or frustrated about a new system, I can’t shut down or get defensive. I have to listen, respond without judgment, and explain why we’re doing what we’re doing. Using tools like “start with heart” and “STATE my path” has helped me do this better. It keeps the focus on solving problems together instead of creating more division.
To get School Sphere up and running in a meaningful way, I know these conversations are going to be part of the process. I’ll be having real talks with admin, teachers, and families. No script can cover everything, but my mindset has to stay steady, clear, calm, and rooted in the purpose of helping our school communicate better. That’s how I want to show up as a leader, and I believe that’s what makes change actually work.
References
Friedman, E. H. (2007). A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix. Church Publishing.
Patterson, K., Grenny, J., McMillan, R., & Switzler, A. (2012). Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High (2nd ed.). McGraw-Hill Education.